Frank Neef. What can you say about Frank Neef that hasn't already been said? All I can say is "This guy is a Mad Man™, a bloody Mad Man™." Fuckin last week Frank and I were slamming the mead and shooting pool at the "new" Blue Dolphin Tavern and Fred was complaining about the tables because they were "bar size" as opposed to the "competition standard racing telemungo raguup frrrpmanfloogupraduchi" and we were shooting bad. Because when you get used to the larger tables and you are forced to go to the small guys it becomes an entirely different game. It becomes "bar pool". (By the way that's me behind and right of the penguin in the blue and white.)
Well enough about Fred Neef, as I dance to the music, my arms sort of grooving in a modified figure eight and my brain ricocheting between a million different dimensions all at the same time and I can barelyt ype straight. Flup dasku drivu 1.44 megu. Shut up you dang midgets playing tether ball. My fingers move in slo-motion like flash frozen arachnids. Like a movie of shadows against a cobblestone backdrop. I see the tree turn into sky a bright pale blue cot of gruddy fargu thumbs. I just threw a cannon ball into the ceiling as hard as I could. We don't expect our security deposit back in the castle. Am I going to have to move up north to San Francisco to get serious money in order to rule or am I going to be able to make a killing off my natural talent? What are the chances? Am I really the genius I think that I am? Am I above God? Am I really Reverend Speef Narkle? I am. Yes, I have been where no human brain has gone before. I am Speef Narkle. Sometimes I doubt my powers, but I seee constant reminders every day.
As soon as I sell my Notebooks of Insanity for $10,000 each to start the bidding. Am I going to be the most famous person in the world? The richest? The luckiest? The best sdfgmfasrukytkian? You bet!!!!
Carradutskariffic color for Expan-O-Slax to be stapled to the wall for my fourth grade dinosaur diorama. "That's not fair, your dad helped and he works for Hgffer Bkjhnu's." I'll be your best friend. I could be anybody's best friend if I wanted to. I've got the gift and I can't use it because that would give away my position as the Supreme Ruler of the Known Galaxy. And then what? Worshipped by every single human in the world. Like I need that, I'm only 424 years old. Buy a package of gum but you are so tweaked from narcotics that it feels like you're at a sandy strip of. I can't wait to brainwash 3 to 4 million people within the next four years. You might be one of them. Some say that Speef Narkle is contagious, yet others swear that it is addicting, and those from tibet that can hold their breath say its both. Like crack cocaine for your funny bluffer creggo murdock helicopter...
I should probably end this document before someone sees it and reports me to the insane asylum.