I often wonder if I am taking it to the next level. Am I that good. I constantly doubt it. But is that doubt just a psychological brake to make me loose confidence? Why does it come so easily for me? Or does it? I would be pissed if I went through life knowing that i was a sack of chipmunk farts but never getting the public acclaim that I need to keep me going. Is that what we all feel. Why not. What if we had all the support, funding, resources, hey you, would you hand me the can opener to those beans, fucking 4:50 in the morning and I am dressed like a gardner, where is my brain, leaking down into my shovel tire.