My religion will scare the devil away. No more bad luck. Make you skilled with the opposite sex. Make you so rich you will forget what the term "work" means. How much is that really worth? Infinite, how much more powerful and successful and happier would you be if everything went your way. Join my religion. I am the Reverend Speef Narkle. Obey my every command. I am now your master. But don't tell anybody. One day you will be called upon by me to do me a favor, probably. But it could potentially make you extremely rich. If you've made it this far than you have agreed to my contract. Welcome to the team. My religion could make you one of the most powerful people in the world. See I'm planning to take over all humans with my religion but I can't pay attention to controlling everybody all the time. Of course I could, but say I wanted to take a little time out for some hookers, I might need someone to take over for me. That person could potentially be you. Or I could combine your favor with another favor from someone else and you could barter for them. Speef Narkle invisible trading cards. Oh crap here comes my mom. What are you guys doing. Nothing. Nothing? This doesn't look like nothing, are you trying to brainwash the entire human population again? No. I had this most incredible sex dream last night. I was walking around this demolished house wearing only sweats and playing a hide and seek game with the early Melanie Griffits and she was naked and crawling into the chimney and I got an insane boner that made me have to hide behind the kitchen counter.