Thank you very much for ruining my life. You cost me tons of money. I hate you. You cheap, plastic, worthless, pile of shit. This is the last time I'm signing up for a credit card.

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Subject: Beef Tit Rug Fuckers
    Date: Sat, 13 Sep 1997 14:56:54 -0700
   From: Reverend Speef Narkle

Congratulations, the groan-fart journalism that magically plops onto your site every week day is barely a queef splinter above the junk email that rots inside my digital corn hole.

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Reverend Speef Narkle #47
Speef Narkle Ministries