Bob "Chimpanzee Dick" Hope and Jonathan "Cannibal Nuts" Winters, were two of the funniest fuckers to ever walk up to a microphone.
    Look for charred hair ends, follow them up to their roots, bore a tiny hole through the bone and you will find my brain. Grandpa humping sea monkeys in the kitchen. "Keep it over the sink", Ma yells.
    Hose down all parakeets in chowder-diarrhea. Blend farts till they drip. Broil on high. Serves 8.
    What if you could smoke weed out of a pipe.
    Ride your bike over a ton of dog crap. Tape toilet dick.
    La, la, la, rape 80 chickens, la, la, la, rape 79 chickens, la, la, la…
    Dry each dog turd on a wire mesh, then staple them to your leg for good luck.
    Mmm mm MM, gimme som-mo of that chicken fried badger shit. (He never has 40 pounds at home.) That's because we replaced his meal with Greasy Fecees™. Just like ripping those farts right out of grannie's prune hole!
    A neat Halloween costume is to pull a piece of corn out of a poo and stick it into your nose.

    Ahem… ahem… here ye, hear ye.
    All chickens will be suffocated by gypsy queefs before 4:70 pm. Or else! All cannibal piss will be dipped in chimpanzee tits or a fine of 1,000 vart blasters will be added. Or else!
        - By order of Hog Balls McGillicutty

    All hicks get drunk and shoot the cat litter.
    I wrote this book. Operation: Crumb Weasel.

        And bifuckacat was his name-O.

    Reverse farting fischer price, like my alien friend. I have come from outer space to take you to heaven, please make sure I have fun here on earth. All donations to Reverend Speef Narkle will result in pleasant trip to Heaven upon donators extinction.


Buy my book called Give Me All Your Money. My new book tells you how to make a fortune by performing business acts that are barely legal.
    Transcript of brainwashing speech:
I have come from outer space to take you to heaven. If I don't make $5,000,000 Dollars by the end of 1999 then the earth will blow up. Give me all your money, NOW! Make a donation to Speef Narkle Ministries today. Call 1-800-SPEEFNA. All I care about is taking all your money. To prevent from breathing onion skins, tape a bear's leg to your corn hole.

        Reverend Speef Narkle. The richest man in the universe.

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