"Bitch, this your merkin? Get this fucking queef catcher off the Pud Wrench." The Pud Wrench flies by a fire hydrant. The window rolls down and a merkin is hucked out of the window. A laser beam shoots out of the hydrant and vaporizes it.
   We see an x-ray of the merkin on a monitor. A fat guy is on the computer reading stats on the merkin. The carbon dating says 2047. The fat guy dials the phone and bids on it. A second later a toaster oven bursts to life. It starts smoking. The fat guy goes over there and pulls it out spins it onto a plate. Pounds a bottle of Cat Fuck onto the top of it.
   The Pud Rake travels through a 47th demensional space warp. The ship waves in and out. It farts with the wave. We see a choad skinner relaxing in a bean bag. Arms behind his back. He is staring at the tv. Going over footage of motorcycles burning out on dummy crotches. He seems to rewind back to a particular burn out and playing it over again. It is a close up of a burn out cut to a shot of the crowd cheering. Cutting to a commercial for RORKS. Goodbye Truckers Dick, Hello Mr. Blister.
   We see the back of a barber's chair. It spins around and a midget finger-gun's the camera. The midget explodes.
   In the distant shillouete against the sun we see a couple on a merkingrinder. Hovering across the horizon. Toupee World sputters onto the screen in neon. Smoke pours up from below. We pan down to the merkin in the toaster oven. The fat guy goes over there and pulls it out spins it onto a plate. Pounds a bottle of Cat Fuck onto the top of it. An organ howls from the stereo. A bum crawls out from a sewer pipe. He drops an organizer. The couple on the merkingrinder swoop bye and nab it.
   Close up of a shoehorn breaking repeatedly. Shoehorns: Know How to Spot a Lemon. With Harry Grogan, Purvis Chopcock, Leroy Beefco, and the Imploding Midget Orchestra.
   We are now inside of Toupee World watching the Imploding Midget Orchestra. We can't make out the words of the intro song but we hear a piece that sounds like "Rip that flat cat. Shred that merkin apart!"

04.11.2000

   Gratz meef,
       Reverend Speef Narkle

speef@dreamscan.com