"Well god damn. I guess we're fresh out of vented butt plugs. Don't worry though, Mrs Mulligan, we will get another shipment in on Monday." Why are we so mean to substitute teachers? Like an old lady's bowling ball tits. There's nothing better than showing off to your class. Substitutes are a great time to look like a star. With this simple course, you can be on your way to being in the cool crowd in no time.Wind up a rubber band and put it in someones hair. When the teacher leaves the room, yell "Lets Party!" Its easy to score chicks if you know Morse code.
     If someone invites you to the Oprah Winfrey show, don't agree to go. I was on it once. I had this dream that my seamonkeys were being cornholed by a Leprichaun. They were on top of the refrigerator, and I had woken up early to catch episodes of The Rat Patrol. My seamonkeys were on top of the refrigerator. I was getting the milk for my cereal and when I looked up this Leprichaun was humping the shit out of my seamonkeys.
Hey Fuckram,
    You know Goat Beefing is my all time show!!!!! Just swipe my "card on file" and bill me for 20 tickets!!!!! I was hoping to see "MY FAVORITE" GB voted "GB Of The Year"!?!?!?.......Who in the hell is replacing SHITSPLICER as Chicken Stuffer Of The Year?????.........I can hear the crowds chanting....... Goat Beefing, Goat Beefing, Goat Beefing, Goat Beefing, Goat Beefing.........LMAO!!!!


   Gratz meef,
       Reverend Speef Narkle