|Dear Miss Torquelson,
Its easy for me to see how you would want to tear a fart into my esophagus. But that was not part of the deal. When was the last time you had shit particles filling up your fukin lungs? See if youd like it. In fact, next time I come over for a round of bury the squealer, Im gonna pound two heads of cabbage and chase them with a gallon of prune juice.