I’m listening to the sound of two dogs eating crunchy food and one of my roomates barfing.

I just e-mailed some narklehead that wanted a copy of Bleef the Grugs and I told them to just wait for the next book. It’s better than Bleef the Grugs. Isn’t it? Sure, It doesn’t start with:

"Gorilla tits," said Taco Fuckram.


All right Pilgrims, here's the run down. Last week I bought four spansules of Ecstasy for $100 from a good friend of mine who didn't want to send them via US Mail back to their rightful owner who lives in Berkeley. So I figured since I have never tried the little buggers and I have recently spent countless hours reading about MDMA, LSD, opium and other friends of the mind I should take some out for a test drive. Now its 12:35 PM. Hold on the phone is ringing. It was just Viju, an amatuer stunt man trying to get ahold of Video Steve Edwards, one of the many high society members of the world famous Castle, where I live and am now living in a tent in the back yard with a king size bed that takes up the entire inside of it. Anyway, its, shit I have to send off a bill before I "accrue" late charges. Its May 29th Saturday 1997 and its gonna be my first time taking ecstasy and I'm going to write my brain down so you can inhale the madness that resides inside my head.
12:48 PM, I just took the wooly bastard with a forkfull of mocha almond fudge ice cream, I have read that the psychologists, or a psychologist in Switzerland had patients take it with chocolate so who knows. I'm going to need some soul music soon. About two years ago I

But then, what book does? Wrap some carnivore in a large ham tuxedo and watch them eat their way out. Oh no, I just looked into my right ear. “Harf?” “Harf.” “Harf?” “Harf.” “Harf?” “Harf.” Hey there floating sheets of corn hammocks for invisible treadmills, carry my bruke to a higher level. (Bruke is when your brain pukes.” Tamper floss is used by farting elves to accelerate helicopters in the fifth dimension. Garftalimus! I’d bet on midgets in gorrila suits any day. Just had a document saving heart attack. Fuck. I thought I had lost the whole nights work. Drill a hole in your head. I did and it feels great!


      Gratz meef,
            Reverend Speefnarkle