Theres nothing that five men on mushrooms can't accomplish. For instance:
      With the swift blast of a gipsy queef the tattered merkin dropped chaotically to the wet earth. “Blutark, what happened, I could sure use a dust minute, have to find…shelter.” Along came a tousle haired ex-commando from the peasant’s dream. He picked up the merkin and mistaking it for a caterpillar proceeded to wax his boot with it. Well this further shredded the already worn down merkin into a wad of stringy fur. After about an hour the merkin began to recover through an amazing feat of will. And this merkin soon found itself perched high upon a cliff in an eagle’s nest. Once high above the rest of the world, the merkin began to have crazy thoughts and dreams of jumping careening straight down towards the ground and pulling out just before smashing into the wet earth. Sometimes I feel like that poor tattered merkin. Well, the merkin maintained these same thoughts of plunging day in and day out for forty seven days and forty seven nights. And on that forty seventh night the merkin jumped and the merkin crashed in the muddy gravel and burst into forty seven different clumps. On the first clump of merkin lived an unhappy gatekeeper. Now it just so happened that the gatekeeper on the first clump and the chess master on the thirteith clump had come from the same source, a leprichaun’s beard. In fact, the same leprichaun that was walking next to the gipsy princess that had shot the merkin out in the first place. So obviously the gatekeeper and the chess master became pen pals. Not like really chummy pen pals since they etched their correspondence on the turds of a worm.

      Gratz meef,
            Reverend Speefnarkle