Johnny Meat Socket

Diary entry March 7th, 2047:
     Had the same damn dream this morning. Being sodomized by woodchucks is no way to wake up. Every time I hear the snooze alarm, its like an army of those furry fuks is lining up to train my ass. A good shot of T-Bird will wipe those troubles away. Now its time for my morning speedcrap. I usually take a magazine in, but by the time I'm sitting on the jensen, I've already tarred up the hinge where the seat meets the bowl. The fukin seat is practically welded shut with hard dung. Maybe I'll drink some yerba mate and try to lazer pee the corn out. Who fukin cares. I'll just switch rooms at the end of the week.
     Maybe I'll practice some Karate today. My knife throwing has gotten a lot better. I drew a target on the wall and I can practically see into the next room. I like to watch. That room is only rented by Sticky the pimp. It has a door to the back alleyway. I don't think anyone uses the front. Its all boarded up with steel. I like to watch as the women of persuasion, the ladies of leisure, the freindliest girls on earth, do their magic tricks.
     Its getting dark now. I karate chopped the dresser in half, drawer by drawer. Its probably time for some calisthenics. Its good to keep supple. Gotta be ready to pounce in case a war starts. Maybe one of the ladies next door can sport me a free one if I offer some barbeque. I think I'm gonna steal some meat. It tastes good when its barbequeued with particle board. And the formica seals in the flavor. Smells kind of like DMT at first. Theres a knocking at the wall. Sounds like a lopsided washing machine is about to break through. Its probably just one of them hookers doing it with a speed freak. I get so horny on meth, sometimes I'll stick my dick through a time portal just so the samaurai she-males can pound it with boiled frog legs.     

       Gratz meef,
            Reverend Speefnarkle