Hello. Idiot. Where are you? While you're down there spendin money at those singles bars, I'm up here living the dream. What do you think about this one? Not your type? Who cares? They're cheap. I can get fifty of them for what it costs you a nice dinner and a bottle of Asti Spumante. And its guaranteed. These chicks are more than a sure thing. They are too much of a good thing. Get your fukin passport and get the fuck up here. Theres a suite open next door. I know the proprietor now and I can reserve it for you. For your information the walls are sound proof so don't worry about the neighbors. Though you may want to get in on some of that action. Heavy duty stuff. Makes pat pong look like ping pong. Speaking of ping pong balls, these chicks can queef bowling balls across the parking lot. Hard hat area. And don't worry about diseases. I got a kevlar jimmy. You can get them cheap. You can essentially put your dick in a sharks mouth and not worry. You can probably do that up here. Its that out of control. Anyfuk, Where the fuk are you? You're wasting your life away with those earth women. The chicks out here could smoke a rhino dry. No foolin. Give me a call man. I'll set up a welcoming party that will make your nuts puke.

       Gratz meef,
            Reverend Speefnarkle