Jerry. Welcome to the future. You can buy one of these from a machine up here. There are lots of different brand names, but this one is the Flute Juicer. I'm totally addicted. I've tried quite a few different ones now. I would highly recommend the Axle Bender, the Beef Greeter and Weasel Hutch, and the Staff Basket. I would try to stay away from thse brands entirely: Loaf Burner, Lemming Shredder, Beef Cleaver, and Wolf Gasket. I've found the following brands to be acceptable, but only if the better ones aren't available: The Juice Casket, Log Pocket, Dwarf Straightner and the Cock Cozy. Oh, the Snake Baster brand is also pretty good.

       Gratz meef,
            Reverend Speefnarkle