No one wants to wake up to see their dad fucking the Easter Bunny. I was at Indian Scout camp and all the dads were staying up late pounding beer. I wiped my ass with a loaf of steel wool. I ran to the balcony and climbed onto the roof. I ran right and then backtracked and covered my steps. I jumped into the tree just before the bloodhounds ran by.

I silently snorted as much cocaine as I could. I was laying down rails on branches, dirt, rocks, anything that had a flat surface. I jumped on the motorcycle and then popped a fukin wheelee that would give the devil a boner.


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