A pig's dick is shaped like a corkscrew. When we would visit my cousins in the country, they had a bunch of randy pigs that they would let loose at the fair. The whole town would be filled with holes by the end of the weekend.

My cousins were cool cause they got to shoot guns and ride horses and drive tractors and huff gas. When I'd visit, my parents would let me go with the cousins and I would get super high and we'd have bb gun wars. We'd make ninja stars out of old cars. We'd hunt squirrels with machine guns.

I feel like a complete mental case when I walk up to the cashier with three jugs of cheap wine. But I learned early that the finer things in life shouldn't cost more than a dollar a gallon. Spending every day after school in the alleyway with the winos paid off big time when I got my first job. I worked for a liquor distributor. My route lost the most merchandise of any in the city. They put a secret buyer on my route and trapped me. Now I work at the zoo.

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Smells like a petting zoo on valentines day.

Posted by: Groats at June 21, 2005 12:38 PM

Pigs have huge testicles.

Posted by: Farm Hand Jack at June 22, 2005 7:51 PM

As a kid I would always hang out with the farmers behind the grocery store cause they always had the best dope. They were running high cause they were selling a lot and snorting tons of coke. Then the market fell out for string beans and they got into cheap speed. When I go home for vacations sometimes I see them still strung out behind the same grocery store. They should have stuck to marijuana.

Posted by: Pack Williams at June 23, 2005 8:16 PM

My heart is a queef with your love pulsing through it.

Posted by: Brow Beefer at June 24, 2005 1:55 AM

Wanna learn how to turbo fuck?

Posted by: AbAnnihalator Plus at June 24, 2005 2:07 AM

As the diarrhea was flaming out my ass, a carload of gypsys flew by.

Posted by: BlowGuts at June 26, 2005 11:07 PM

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