I often wake up to cats fukin on the roof. We used to have a neighbor that was really loud having sex. Either that or the glass I held against the wall was tits. After I get home from the bar I'll take my shirt off and pose to check the progress.

Me and Purvis would hang out on the riverbank waiting for the hookers to float by. I would wait on a tree limb and when one floated by, I would land on her and start pumpin. Purvis had a rope that he would swing in from the shore and do a flip and land inside one. It was the only way to make the summer go faster. I couldn't wait to get back to school cause my shop teacher was my grass connection.

I just got the skids. Theres liqua-turd pounding out my ass right now into the toilet. I ate some spoiled peltsteak this morning. I've never been let down before. Have you ever seen a baby horse being born? I've seen it happen in The Netherlands. Its cool. Did you know the first thing that a baby horse says is marijuana.


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Ahem. Well fyi. Liqua-turd is a trademarked name brand of our company Greasy Shits And Sticky Bits. So if you wouldn't mind removing the word "liqua-turd" from this site we won't have to have Stepford, our angry sodomite, come down to your house and teach you and yours the meaning of the term "rip yer fuckin dick off."

Posted by: Beasley at July 15, 2005 9:32 PM

BIRD DICK!

Posted by: Bird Dick at July 17, 2005 11:04 AM

Roasting Liqua-turd right now. We blasted some onto the hibachi and I'm chopping garlic on top of it.

Posted by: Ska Beagle at July 17, 2005 10:51 PM

When I'm stoned I can mow five pounds of salmon.

Posted by: jammy at July 17, 2005 11:22 PM

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