When I start shaking from weed overblast I try to focus on an old memory and play it over and over. Distorting it and chuckling to myself until I get cottonmouth and then I head to the fridge and start pounding food.

Two weeks ago I was looking on the internet for my friend Lithium Jim. I found his phone number and called him. We agreed to meet in Fresno. Then he calld me back and said he’s in my car. I go to my car and open the doors and the trunk. He isn’t in there. But then he insists that he’s there and that I just need to smoke some reefer. So I hit the bong and blast my brain. I’m caughing, hotboxing the car and the smoke starts to suck into the glove compartment. Like there was a vacuum in there. I opened it up and Lithium Jim is looking out. I pop the hood and he jumps onto the parking lot. We went to a motel lounge and picked up some hookers. I didn’t see Lithium until breakfast.

A couple years later he emails me and asks me to crack a password on his boss’s computer. I tell him that I don’t do that shit. He drives up to my house that night. We order some hookers and then when I’m just about to wad he crashes through the door on a mountain bike and rides over my foot and I jump while my choad is still warm and now I have the worst hernea in five counties.

I’ve been in my bed playing video games on a PC Jr. That’s the last time I had a boner. My chumpsteak is still gasping for air.

I can feel the fan on my bald spot. I’m punching gravel every morning now. I was waking up at five thirty before my accident doing knuckle push ups and swimming laps. I’m practicing my one inch punch laying down.

I have big plans once I get out of my bed.

Latest Pimpsteaks

Pimpsteak Archive


Being stuck in bed is the worst. I'm stuck in a sleeping bag on my couch. I got a buddy that goes and gets me McD's for bong hits but he spills the bong water out a lot and that really irks me!

Posted by: plumpin at September 9, 2005 10:03 AM

the good thing for health is to role the dope in the paper and put hash oil on the paper and feel the stone it will be the best stone you will ever have

Posted by: rick at October 13, 2005 5:04 PM

Post a comment

Remember personal info?

© 2006 speefnarkle.com