You might wonder if a man with a two centimeter penis has trouble satisfying women. But Barry “Super Tiny Wang” Vlasco is not your typical man. And the fact that he’s getting it reduced by a half centimeter seems unlikely to disillusion the throngs of women that wait outside his apartment door almost every night. Many of those women describe Barry as an animal in the bedroom.
“He’s the last of the true Scandinavian Sexbeasts,” said Charlotte Crudodeflap, a self-confessed Super Tiny Wang enthusiast. “His moves make your toes curl and your nub sizzle. Pure ecstasy.”
Martha from the corner store describes his techniques as “from the future” which is not too far from the truth. Bary does in fact have a vapor dong, a tiny laser embedded in his penis that projects a pud that’s nine inches long and almost four inches in diameter.
Barry invented the vapor dong out of necessity. He was born with an average size dork like most people. Unfortunately when he was six years old he slipped into a barrel of fish oil and was stuck there for two days. When he was finally rescued, his chump had shrunk down to a centimeter long.
Doctors tried for two weeks to re-inflate his slab but nothing worked. They even suggested pulling the meatstick off a chimpanzee and stapling it onto his pud, but Barry’s mother would have none of it.
So Barry went through high school with a very embarrassing micro-stump. In college though, he started hanging out with a gang of tough guys with small loafs. The ladies couldn’t seem to get enough of these dudes. They had women crawling all over them. And the women all knew about their shortcomings. The gang had a secret, a magical book of love making techniques that made up for the stump. The book was called “How To Make Love to a Woman if You Only Have a Three Centimeter or Less Weiner.”
Barry studied that book and sure enough he was pleasing ladies all over campus. By the time he finished his degree in atomic physics he had slept with seventy percent of the women in his graduating class.
But there was something missing. Something almost primal. Barry knew that he could satisfy women, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he wanted them to scream from their deepest insides from the thrusting of his tubesteak. And that’s when he got a grant from the government to research the vapor dong.
Things moved rapidly forward. Barry hired a defense specialist (with a dwarf-dick) from what was then East Germany and built a state-of-the-art laboratory in a mountain cave. Within two years they had a working prototype that was tested on goats. It worked half the time, and the other times it would slice the goats in half. Needless to say they had a lot of goat rib dinners.
Finally they had success with a miniaturized laser lattice. Barry applied for a patent and now owns the only vapor dong company in the western world. And the ladies are lining up to take it for a ride, or, more accurately, to get ridden.